I'm back! With a vengeance!!!!

Im blogging! Lol, So I've been thinking of blogging for a few months now...being pushed to do it by some...but when I think, "ok, I'm gonna do it!" I get so lazy!!! Lol... Then I ran into a brides blog and how she wanted to remember the whole planning process, how happy she was and blah blah blah..I thought...dang, I want that?! Lol still took me 2 months after lol.

Anyways, thought I'd start with my true underlying feelings. So, I am a typical romanticist girl...who's been planning her wedding since she was in 2nd grade. But from the moment I said yes it's been nothing I imagined! All these ideas I had growing up we're not good enough or the fiancé didn't like them. Grrr... I feel like I constantly have a deadline I have to meet. At the beginning it wasn't too bad, I would just remind myself still a year to go...still 9months to go... Still 7 months to go... And now I'm at 4 months...omg...I was so happy at the beginning, planning and deciding and looking. But now? Ugh...I'm just tired.. I want this to be over... We're always arguing, I can't choose anything, and then people text me wanting decisions...it just reminds me how behind I am and how much I still have to go. People say to take a break from the planning to reconnect with your huney.. But how can I when every second a new to do pops in my head? And my time is running out!!!! It got to the point where I was asking myself..is this really what I want? Do I really want to be married with him? Or am I doing this because I want to get married?

Like an answer to from God, I received a phone call a few nights ago from a close family member, they wanted to know how I was doing and coping..not how school was, or how the wedding was, but me...man it's been awhile since I received a call like that. I didn't know how to answer. But as we kept talking I started opening up, and of course wedding was involved in it. Towards the end she said, "I can tell you're still in love! You still have your glow." Lol, whaaat? Glow? How? I'm moody, constantly fighting, and frustrated and upset? But that's because I'm a perfectionist! Hearing those words, and also hearing that I'm actually really on top of my game has rejuvenated my wedding planning spirit! I'm ready to continue to tackle this tedious process! And I will even blog (hopefully) so I can remember and those around me can see, and maybe help?, how the last few months are going...